Category Archives: Funny

Berceni’s Got Talent

My neighborhood…

You… dog!

If You Can….

If you can start the day without caffeine;
If you can get going without pep pills;
If you can always be cheerful, ignoring aches and pains;
If you can resist complaining and boring people with your troubles;
If you can eat the same food every day and be grateful for it;
If you can understand when your loved ones are too busy to give you any time;
If you can forgive a friend’s lack of consideration;
If you can overlook it when those you love take it out on you when,
through no fault of your own, something goes wrong;
If you can take criticism and blame without resentment;
If you can ignore a friend’s limited education and never correct him;
If you can resist treating a rich friend better than a poor friend;
If you can face the world without lies and deceit;
If you can conquer tension without medical help;
If you can relax without liquor;
If you can sleep without the aid of drugs;
If you can honestly say that deep in your heart you have no prejudice
against creed or color, religion or politics; then, my friend, you are
almost as good as your dog.

Don’t press the red button!

Barbatii sunt ca…

Barbatii sunt precum vacantele.
Nu dureaza niciodata suficient.

Barbatii sunt ca si bananele.
Cu cat imbatranesc, devin mai putin fermi.

Barbatii sunt ca si timpul.
Nu poti face nimic sa-l schimbi.

Barbatii sunt ca si cafeaua.
Cei mai buni sunt calzi, tari si te tin treaza toata noaptea.

Barbatii sunt ca si computerul.
Dificili de inteles si in mod constant fara “suficienta” memorie..

Barbatii sunt ca si publicitatea.
Sa nu crezi niciodata un cuvant din ce zic.

Barbatii sunt ca si contul in banca.
Fara bani nu prezinta interes.

Barbatii sunt ca si popcorn-ul.
Te satisfac dar doar pt. putin timp.

Barbatii sunt ca si ninsorile.
Nu sti niciodata cand vin, cati centimetri au si cat dureaza.

Barbatii sunt ca si copiatoarele.
Servesc doar la reproducere.

Barbatii sunt ca si parcarea.
Toate locurile bune sunt ocupate, altele sunt dezafectate.

O fetita cu fustita (By Mircea Badea)

Mircea Badea: O fetiţă… cu fustiţă!

Chuck Norris Facts

De ce in calendarul lui Chuck Norris se trece direct de la 31 martie la 2 aprilie?
Nimeni nu il pacaleste pe Chuck Norris!

Chuck Norris nu poarta ceas. El decide cat e ceasul.

De ce doarme Chuck Norris cu lumina aprinsa? Nu pt ca ii e teama de intuneric, ci pt ca intunericului ii e frica de el.

Chuck Norris nu va face niciodata infarct. Inima nu e atat de tampita sa-l atace.

Chuck Norris joaca ruleta ruseasca cu pistolul plin. Si castiga mereu.

In loc de picaturi de ochi, Chuck Norris foloseste sos picant.

Cand Chuck Norris taie ceapa, nu plange el, ci ceapa.

Chuck Norris nu are frunte. Ala e doar al treilea sau pumn.

Nu exista lesbiene. Doar femei care nu l-au cunoscut inca pe Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris doarme cu perna sub pistol.

Chuck Norris a fost deja pe Marte, de aceea acolo nu exista viata.

Chuck Norris nu poate sa iubeasca, el poate doar sa nu ucida.

Chuck Norris stranuta cu ochii deschisi.

Cand merge la culcare, Bau-Bau se uita in dulap si sub pat sa nu fie cumva acolo Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris a reusit sa numere pana la infinit. De doua ori.

Chuck Norris poate sa aplaude cu o singura mana.

Chuck Norris nu doarme. El asteapta.

Chuck Norris poate sa dea foc la furnici cu lupa. Noaptea!

Chuck Norris a lovit odata un cal in barba. Descendentii acelui cal se numesc acum girafe.

Chuck Norris s-a nascut intr-o cabana construita de el.

Chuck Norris a inghitit odata un borcan de somnifere. L-au facut sa clipeasca.

Chuck Norris doneaza regulat sange la crucea rosie, dar niciodata al lui.

Chuck Norris a ars odata o padure cand facea experimente cu apa.

Cand Chuck Norris face flotari, nu se ridica pe el, el impinge pamantul in jos.

Chuck Norris e cunoscut pentru modestia lui, dar recunoaste ca este a 8-a minune a lumii.

Tu traiesti pentru ca te-a lasat Chuck Norris in viata.

Chuck Norris nu asculta muzică , muzica il asculta pe Chuck Norris.

Instructiunile de folosire ale unui copil




























CV de CV

Bogdan XXXXXX

Adresa: str. Izvor nr. XX2,IASI Telefon: 0XXX519724

EmailXXla00@yahoo.com

Permis conducere: Cat.B, Data obtinerii:14.08.2005

Stagiu militar: da

Obiectiv
:

Obiectivu meu secret e sa ma angajati. Asta vreau de fapt,pentru ca nu mai rezist in constructii.

Va rog din inima sa va rupeti 2-3 minunte si sa vedeti de ce sunt in stare.

Salariu: 700,00 EURO / luna
Read More →

Tequila the Vanilla

Eugen:

My friends call me Tequilla and i don’t like Vanilla…

Dragos K.:

If I would like Vanilla I would drink Tequila…

Eugen:

When i’m in the city with my friends
They needs to make me smile…

Dragos K.:

They want to make me cry,
Because I’m not like other guys…

Eugen:

My heart goes crazy
But they found her nasty

Dragos K.:

She is like that,
Because I’m so tard…

Eugen:

My first girlfriend was shame of me
Because i can’t make her scream…

Dragos K.:

She wanted me so bad,
And I let her lonely on the bed…

Eugen:

She tels me that she wanna cry
But i can’t make it die…
When i’m in her arms
My male it’s gone
How can i make it happy
When i’m not feeling lucky?

Dragos K.:

I’m not feeling like a man,
But now is my time,
I will show it to the world,
That Tequila is not a nerd,
And I will give her all my cock,
So she can choke with it and stroke,
Because I will be always so sad,
Till I put my cock into her mouth.

Eugen:

But my mind tell me badly
When i will feeling lucky?
Don’t know how…
Don’t know why…
But my friends tells my that i lie

Dragos K.:

But I don’t lie,
I’m just so weird,
Cuz I don’t like the other guys,
Telling me so many times,
That I’m a loser and I should die,
I’m just a normal guy,
Who loves the flowers and the Sky,
I would give my whole world,
Just to be a day like Dragos and Eugen,
So the girls will see me with other eyes,
Not like now,
Not my style…

End.

We’ll try to make another one, for another “common friend”. Stay tuned!

Yahoo de cocalar

😀